Love Is a Hurting Thing
by Lizicia
Summary: Calleigh needs to decide what she wants. Is love about care or passion? What if you can't have who you really want? CaRWash angst and drama, combined with romance. [Complete]
1. Chapter 1

„Wow, I'm glad this case is over. It really wore me out to handle this," Ryan said, glancing at Calleigh.

She nodded and replied, „Sure did. I would just like to kick back and relax now."

„How about getting some drinks?"

Calleigh paused and gathered her thoughts. Even though she was with a handsome architect named James Carlisle, she had never stopped thinking of Ryan. He had filled her mind long but she had forced herself to let go as they could not have a relationship.

„Well, James is at a conference for another two days..."

He cut her off, „I meant it in a friendly way, not in a hitting on you way," and grinned, amused.

She smiled back. „I know. I was just thinking out loud. Where do you want to take me?"

„I don't know. Find out on the way?"

Calleigh grinned. „Sure, why not?"

It was only midnight but Calleigh was already exhausted. They had been dancing practically the whole night and combined with the drinks she had had, her head was slightly spinning. She leaned on Ryan as they got outside to get some fresh air.

His heart shrank at the sudden touch of her head. She breathed warm air on his neck, making him spin as well. Calleigh smelled like cinnamon, vanilla and cherry, combined with her own unique smell. Ryan gulped hard to keep thinking straight.

„So... are you feeling alright?"

„Just a bit tired," she murmured and let out a yawn. She leaned even closer to him and he prayed to keep control of himself. He would've just wanted to kiss her and fulfill all of his dreams about her.

„Let's get a taxi and go home?"

„You know my address."

They got themselves a taxi quite quick and Ryan gave the driver instructions to Calleigh's house. Inside, she seemed to have recovered and had a sparkle in her eyes he had not seen in a long time.

As they reached her house, he paid and they got out.

„So... want to come in for a second?" She hesitated a bit before asking but taking the amount of alcohol in account, she was very adequate.

„Why not."

They walked up the stairs and entered her apartment. Small and very Calleigh-ish.

„You can just sit here while I go and make some coffee."

Despite saying that she didn't move. She hadn't quite realised that Ryan hadn't moved as well and they were standing just inches apart. She gazed into his deep green eyes and wished she could get lost in them.

His breathing became rapid as he scented her again. The way she looked at him was just overwhelmingly torturing and his mind stopped working.

For a minute they just stood and looked at each other, neither wanting to make the first move.

„Maybe you should make that coffee," he said, leaning even more closer.

„I probably should," she replied in a bare whisper almost touching his lips.

He decided to take things into his hands and kissed her. First tender and soft, as not to frighten her but he soon felt her deepening the kiss. His breathing quickened even more as she leaned against him and placed her hands behind his neck, bringing him closer. He did the same so they were closer than ever. But it wasn't enough for neither one.

Calleigh continued to kiss him as her hands sneaked under his shirt, caressing his stomach softly, making him moan a bit. In return he caressed her back and she could feel the heat of his hands through the delicate fabric.

She moaned in protest when he pulled apart but was somewhat glad to be able to breathe again. Their foreheads touched and he looked deeply into her eyes.

„I couldn't have held it inside myself for any longer," he said, caressing her face tenderly.

She smiled. „Me neither."

Their lips met again and she started to guide him towards the bedroom.

He stopped her and raised an eyebrow. „Are you sure? You might regret it in the morning."

„Not a chance," she replied, taking his hand and leading him to bedroom.


	2. Chapter 2

**Aw, thanks for the reviews! I give you chapter 2.**

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Ryan opened his eyes and sat up. A little too quick as his head was pierced by a wave of sharp pain.

„Ow, I hate these mornings." He looked around a realised it wasn't his bed. Not even his apartment. Then he remembered what had happened. _Calleigh_.

He smiled a bit but noticed she was not there. So, after he got out and put his clothes on, he went to search for her.

He found Calleigh in the kitchen, drinking coffee and very much lost in thoughts.

„Mornin'," he greeted her and noticed the cautious look in her eyes.

She nodded but didn't reply. Silence fell upon them as neither said a word. Ryan got the feeling that what had happened last night did not seem so good in the morning in Calleigh's eyes.

„So..." he started, trying to get her attention.

Calleigh sighed and said, „I think we should talk about what happened last night."

„Okay."

„I'm not going to deny that last night was good, but... It also was a mistake. We work together and we should keep these things apart. Besides, I am already seeing someone."

„So we should just pretend it never happened?"

His voice had acquired hints of sadness but he kept still.

„I think it would be the best thing. We were both drunk and did not acknowledge what we were doing."

He remained quiet. His mind told him that Calleigh was right as they had boundaries and certain rules applied at the lab, rules not meant to be broken.

Then again, there was his heart. His heart screamed him to convince Calleigh, to prove her he loves her, to make this work.

But he chose to be rational.

„You're right, we should just get pass this. Friends?"

„Friends."

They smiled at each other and hugged but deep down inside they both knew this was going to affect them both deeply. They just weren't aware of how deeply.

_Four weeks later_

„Hey, Cal, I'm going to lunch, want to come?" Ryan smiled at her.

She smiled back, „Thanks for inviting, but I've got a doctor's appointment. See you after the break."

She quickly made her way out before he could ask anything.

Calleigh drove to the doctor's office, her head filled with different set of emotions, thinking back to the morning.

_Calleigh looked at the white object in her hand and quickly breathed in and out. Thirty seconds more, she told herself. Those seconds were definitely the longest in her life and she nervously bit her lip in order to stay calm. _

_She put the item down and didn't look at it for awhile. The time had stopped but she couldn't face herself to look at it. She instead looked at the wrapping. 'Ninety seconds to make your life easier' and thought it should be 'Ninety seconds that can turn everything upside down'. _

_Sighing, she took it and closed her eyes. Breathing again she looked at it and dropped it on the floor. She read the label again. 'One stripe – negative, two stripes – positive.' A hundred thoughts running through her head she ran out of the bathroom, leaving the two-striped test on the floor. _

Fortunately her doctor had been able to see her right away as she had said it was an emergency. Right now they were facing each other.

Dr. Marcia Holden looked Calleigh straight in the eyes, „What emergency did you have, Calleigh?"

„I might be... no, quite certainly am pregnant. And I'd want to confirm it, just in case. I don't believe in home pregnancy tests."

„Okay. Let's get you checked then."

Half an hour later she was back at the ballistics lab, exploring evidence from the last case.

„So, how was the doctor's?"

Ryan startled her a bit but she forced herself to smile.

„Nothing special, just a regular check-up."

Just as she had said it, a wave of nausea hit her. Ryan must have noticed it as he asked, „Are you okay? You look kind of pale."

Calleigh smiled. „I'm fine, just a bit dizzy."

Another wave hit her and she ran towards the bathroom. Ryan followed her with a worried expression on his face. He waited outside until she coped and faced her then.

„Cal, are you sure you're fine?"

„I think it's just a flu or something. I'm sure my doctor will let me know if she finds out anything."

„Maybe you should go home."

„No, Ryan, really, it's okay."

„But..."

„No!" she exclaimed; she hated if people started asking her whether she was fine. „Look, it's not a big deal, I will manage." And so Calleigh left, leaving Ryan behind.

_At the end of the shift._

Calleigh's phone ringing startled her a bit. She took it and, pressing down a yawn, answered.

„Duquesne."

„Calleigh, this is dr. Holden. I have some news for you."

„Which are...?"

„I'm guessing congratulations would be in order."

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I just love 'em cliffies! Now the only question is: who's the father? ;)


	3. Chapter 3

„How far am I?" Calleigh asked, sitting in her doctor's office again and looking her in the eyes.

„About four weeks long."

„And you're positive I am pregnant?"

„Calleigh, these tests do not make mistakes," dr. Holden replied. She had imagined Calleigh to be happy about the news but instead her face was blank.

Calleigh looked upwards and asked quietly, „When is the deadline for abortion?"

„Calleigh!"

„I just want to know."

She sighed and replied, „12 weeks which means you have about eight weeks. Are you seriously thinking of having an abortion?"

„I don't know. This is way too complicated. I need to think about this before. I'll better go now." She stood up and made her way to the door.

Holden stopped her. „Calleigh... don't be alone in this."

Calleigh gave a small smile and then exited.

The next day Calleigh decided to take the doctor's advice and went to Alexx. She was processing a body at the morgue.

„Hey, Alexx. Am I interrupting?"

She looked up and smiled. „No, sweetie, I'm almost done. Come on in."

Calleigh entered and sat down, not sure how to put what she was about to say into words. But Alexx noticed it before she had the chance to say anything.

„Calleigh, honey, are you alright? You look very... un-Calleighish."

„Alexx, I'm pregnant." The words just came out before she had the chance to think.

Alexx's jaw dropped but it was quickly replaced by a smile. „Oh, but that is wonderful! Come here."

She gave Calleigh a hug but when they pulled apart, she could see there was something more than just that.

„I'm sure James will be very happy," she tried to push Calleigh to say something.

That comment made Calleigh's eyes watery as she whispered, „There is a problem with that."

„What do you mean?"

„He might not be so happy when I tell him when the baby is due."

Alexx gave her a puzzled look but then everything became clear. „Oh my God. You mean he is not the father?"

Calleigh nodded silently but didn't look at Alexx.

„Who is it then? Or if you don't want to tell me, don't."

„It might be... Ryan," she whispered so silently that Alexx couldn't quite understand.

„Sweetie, could you say that again? I thought I heard you say..."

„Ryan."

Now Alexx was at a loss of words. She had noticed the tension and chemistry between those two but she had never guessed they had went farther than just flirting.

„Have you told him yet?"

„No!" Calleigh's eyes went wide. „I mean, I don't know this for sure."

„There is a way to figure it out and you know it."

„Yeah..." DNA testing was a possibility but it had to be done quickly and quietly. Quickly because she wasn't sure how long she would last without knowing and quietly so no one could find out before the time was right.

„But I can't run a paternity test until I'm in my tenth week. And by that time I think it will come out that I am expecting."

„What is your inner feeling saying, honey? A woman's intuition can never be underestimated."

Calleigh didn't answer but Alexx understood anyhow. She didn't say anything but just hugged Calleigh, hoping to make her feel better.

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Calleigh entered her flat with a heavy feeling in her heart. She had to face James and tell him about the baby as there was no way to hide her pregnancy until the end of the first trimester. Considering her flat stomach, it would be noticed very soon, especially by a man who she was living with. 

James emerged from the kitchen and greeted Calleigh with a big smile. „Hey, beautiful. How was your day?"

She couldn't face herself to tell him straight away, so she forced a smile and said, „Exhausting but nothing special. Did you make dinner?"

„No, I hoped you to bring something. Didn't you?" He said it so innocently that she did nothing but just sigh.

„Okay. Maybe we have something in the fridge."

After dinner – which consisted of Chinese food they had ordered – they decided to watch TV. They happened to watch a documentary of babies and Calleigh's heart was overwhelmed by the sight. Gosh, she really did want this child.

„You know, I was thinking, I wouldn't want to have children anymore," James suddenly and quite bluntly said.

„You don't?" Calleigh felt her heart sink.

„No. Children are nothing but trouble and they just interfere with the relationship. Besides, I have achieved my procreating goal with two kids already."

Calleigh didn't find words to say anything. She knew that James had two sons with his ex-wife whom he rarely visited but she had never thought him not to want anymore children. How on earth was she going to tell him she was pregnant?

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**Now I'm looking for some reviews as they go hand-in-hand with me writing the fourth chapter.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry for the delay but I now have finally updated the story. Here's chapter 4.**

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Calleigh had been hiding her pregnancy for another month but knew she couldn't do that for much longer. Her stomach had developed a small, barely noticable bump. Fortunately nobody had noticed but she knew that eventually she was going to have to tell James. Tell him everything.

She stretched her neck as she continued to examine the bullet grazings. Her eyelids became heavy as she hadn't had much sleep in the past days and her body craved for sleep. So, without giving it much of a thought, she rested her head on the table and was quickly asleep.

„Calleigh, did you compare the bullets from the Rob-" Ryan stopped when he looked up. Calleigh was sleeping on the table. Ryan couldn't help but smile at how adorable and beautiful she looked. Her blonde hair surrounded her face like a halo and she had a very content look on her face. He thought back on the last time he had seen her sleeping – and quickly dissolved the thought.

„Calleigh..." he whispered and gently touched her face with his fingertips.

She sighed at it and murmured quietly, „Ryan..."

He wasn't sure what to do. But he knew she couldn't sleep on the desk and gently, very gently shook her.

Calleigh unwillingly opened her eyes and looked hazily at him. Once she understood where she was, she jerked upwards and tried to look energetic.

„Ryan! What are you doing here?"

He smiled at her attempt of hiding tiredness but decided not to comment on it. „I just wondered if you had the comparison on my last case."

She gave him a puzzled look.

„The Robinson case?"

„Oh, right! No, I haven't found time yet. I'll get on it right away."

But he had noticed her weariness and said, „Maybe you should go home. You don't look too good."

„I'm fine," she snapped and gave him a warning look. She hated when people asked that.

„Are you sure?" Ryan, on the other hand, was concerned.

Calleigh sighed and turned to him with a small smile. „I'm fine, just a bit tired. Now get back to work and let me do mine."

Ryan raised his hands as in a sign of surrender and left.

However, he didn't feel too good about it. He knew Calleigh well enough to leave her alone and not ask questions but she had been acting a bit strange lately. Skipping meals, chaning moods quickly and wearing a very plastered smile. And she most definitely hadn't had decent sleep for a long time. Something was going on and he didn't like it one bit.

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Calleigh finally ended her shift and made it home. She was tired as hell but she couldn't go to sleep right away. At first she needed to do what had to be done. Tell James about the baby.

He was sitting in the living room, watching TV and greeted her with a quick „Hi, Cal" before focusing his attention on the TV again.

She took a deep breath and sat next to him, ready to spill out everything.

„James."

„Hm?" he gazed at her, a bit bothered that he couldn't watch TV any more.

Calleigh looked down. „I need to tell you something. Something really important."

„Okay." His attention was still divided between Calleigh and the TV. And it bothered her.

„James, look at me."

He gave her a bit irritated look. „What?"

„I'm pregnant." Calleigh decided to spill it right out.

She watched him listen and noticed his expression change as he really understood the meaning of her words.

„You're pregnant? How?"

„I thought you have mastered the technical details."

„That's not what I meant. I thought you were on pills?"

„I am. Was."

„Then how come you are expecting?"

„James, I don't know. Birth control is not a hundred per cent certain and the fact is that I am pregnant. I really do not know why I got pregnant but there's nothing we can do about it now!"

Calleigh felt her irritation grow and she hadn't yet made it to the most complicated part. But James seemed to ease up a little.

„Cal, I understand that, relax. I am happy about this baby even though I'm not expressing it correctly. This is just a bit sudden. But I promise you, I will not abandon you or this child."

He hugged her and Calleigh felt his warmness and sincerity. She just couldn't tell him the child could not have been his, so she didn't say anything but just let him hug her. Although she knew she would regret it, she decided that her unborn child will consider James as a father, no matter who it biologically is.

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**Kind of short but this is just the beginning. Please review as well when you read it!**


	5. Chapter 5

**I know, it has been too long since I last updated. But I just didn't have time. Now, here I do give you the next chapter :)

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**

_Seven months later_

„Calleigh, what are you doing here?" Alexx greeted Calleigh with a surprised voice. „I thought you were on maternity leave," she continued, eyeing Calleigh's big stomach.

She smiled. „I am, just stopped by. I'm not doing anything at home and going crazy, bit by bit. Thought I'd pay you a visit."

„Great. Want to talk?"

They headed towards the morgue. Once inside, Alexx carefully shut the door and turned to face Calleigh.

„Honey, tell me, how are you, really?"

Calleigh sighed and sat down. „If I'd know an easy answer to that... I mean, I'm content. James is good and nice and takes care of me."

„But?"

„But I do not love him. Still don't. And content isn't what I want. I want to be happy but I'm afraid he can't give me that."

Alexx eyed her carefully. „Who can then, sweetie?"

Calleigh did not look at her nor say anything but she didn't have to.

„I may respect your decision to be with James, but why are you torturing yourself like that?"

„Alexx, James will be a good father."

„Won't _he_?"

She didn't have to say out the name but Calleigh knew who she was referring to.

„Oh, Alexx, this would be too complicated. First, we're co-workers and we couldn't be in a romantic relationship. Second, I don't know if this baby is his."

„But you don't know if it's James's either."

„And I don't want to know! I've made up my mind already."

Alexx was about to say something when her pager went off. Gazing at it, she said, „Sweetie, I've got a meeting with a dead body, so I have to run."

„You go on then, I'll slowly make my way up then. No need to worry."

Alexx left in a hurry while Calleigh took things slowly to get up the stairs. She could've held Alexx's tempo as well but there was just this small tingling pain in her stomach that wouldn't stop.

She rushed out of the elevator but stopped dead in tracks as she faced the one person she had hoped not to see. Ryan.

He greeted her with a small smile. „Hi, Cal."

„Ryan! Hi!" she greeted her a bit too enthusiastically.

„So... what are you doing here?"

„Just stopped by to see Alexx. Needed to have a word with her. She had to rush to a scene and I was just about to leave."

„And had no intention of coming to see us, because..."

She felt guilty under his gaze. He was right, too. Why would she possibly avoid her other co-workers and go and see Alexx?

Actually, she knew the answer. She had wanted to avoid the one person who was talking to her.

„I was just in a bit of a rush and... ow, ow," she touched her stomach at the enormous feeling of pain.

„Cal? Are you alright?" Ryan was instantly at her side and supported her.

„Fine, just usual- ow!" the pain was becoming too much to handle.

„Calleigh, you're about to give birth and I'll make sure this does not happen here!"

They rushed to his car – as much as you can call it rushing - and headed towards the nearest, St. Mary's Hospital.

The pains were becoming stronger by minute. „Will we reach the hospital soon or do I have to give birth in your car!"

She nearly yelled at him but it did not scare Ryan. It was just the hormones, stress, adrenaline all at the same time.

„Relax, we're getting there." He took her hand and she didn't pull it away but clinged onto it as if it were the only thing keeping her sane.

When they finally reached the hospital – what seemed to be hours later – Ryan helped her out and they made it inside. Calleigh was taken to the delivery room and a doctor looked her through.

„This baby is coming right now! Prepare everything!"

Then he turned to Ryan, „Are you the father? Follow me."

Ryan didn't have time to argue but just followed him and Calleigh. He could hear her calling his name so he went by her side and took her hand.

„I'm here Cal, I'm not going anywhere."

He kept saying that despite Calleigh yelling at him to leave her – and at the same time, holding on to his hand.

Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, he heard a baby's cry.

„Congratulations, you have a beautiful son," the midwife smilingly said as she gave the newborn baby to Calleigh.

She held him as if she might break him and just gazed upon him. „We have a son. We have a beautiful son!" she excitedly exclaimed.

Ryan thought she was talking about James but the midwife didn't. The baby opened his eyes – they were a pair of bright green, matching Ryan's.

„Oh, look at that, he has your eyes," the midwife smilingly told Ryan and left them.

Calleigh froze at that. „No, they're my eyes. Oh, I have a son! Isn't he adorable?"

Ryan deliberately avoided the question and said, „I think I should inform James." With that he left, leaving Calleigh with her son.

Yes, _James_. She had forgotten about him. Even though he was supposed to be this baby's father, it had been Ryan who saw his birth, who shared the moment. And Calleigh, for the first time, doubted her choice. The comment on the eyes and her own thoughts were too much. She needed to know who the real father was.

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**Well, I hope those who disliked the ending of the previous chapter, are okay with this one. Review and I'll write the next one in a shorter period of time.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I know, I know, it's been four months. And I am so very sorry. I just had a computer malfunction, then so much to do at school and finally a writer's block as well. But I hope this will make it up. **

"You are the most beautiful little one I have ever seen. And all my flesh and blood," Calleigh gently spoke to her son who was sound asleep in her arms. He was just adorable. _And just like Ryan_, a tiny voice in her head said. She sighed to herself and just gazed upon the child who had come to change her life.

"Cal, um, I called James." Ryan entered her room. _Speak of the devil._

"Okay, when will he be here?"

He remained silent and she raised her gaze to look at him. "Ryan... what do you not want to tell me?"

"The thing with James is that... he said he is busy and he can't skip a meeting he's having and something like that... Sorry, Cal."

She bit her lip so not to say anything bad about James and forced a smile. "It's alright, it's not your fault he's an ass." _Dammit._

Ryan looked a bit unease and tried to ignore what Cal had said. Before she could comment any more, the doctor came in.

"How are you feeling, Ms. Duquesne?"

"Tired as hell. But ecstatic at the same."

The doctor smiled. "That is very normal. Have you considered a name yet?"

"Actually I have thought out a name already. Do I have to write it down somewhere or how?

"I can bring you a form. I'll be right back."

There was an uncomfortable silence as the doctor had left.

"Did James say anything else?"

"He will come to see you as soon as he can but he made no promises about when."

Calleigh leaned back her head and closed her eyes. She was so tired. Ryan took it as a cue to leave and quietly walked towards the door.

"Don't go."

He turned around but Calleigh's eyes were still closed. Her mouth had curved into a small smile, however as she repeated, "Don't go."

"I thought you needed some rest."

"I'm fine. Besides, I still have a form to fill. Come, sit down. Tell me some good story to make me laugh."

He did as told and although he had trouble finding some story, after a few minutes they both relaxed. When the doctor returned, they both were laughing, not too loudly for the baby to wake up.

"I see that our new mother is enjoying herself. That's good. I brought you the form and filled out some gaps. All you need to do is mark the name and the necessary information about mother and father. You can obviously do that together," he smilingly added and left.

"Can you take him until I fill this in? I want him to stay close to me."

"Sure," he answered and very carefully took the little bundle into his arms. He was so tiny and looked so peaceful while sleeping.

Calleigh noticed the amazed expression on Ryan's face as he held her son, no, _his_ son, as if afraid to break him. Sighing, she took the form and filled in all the necessary gaps.

Mother: Calleigh Ava Duquesne. Before filling in the name of the child, she thought for a while. What if James isn't his father and she gives him the wrong name? But she couldn't just name him Wolfe. She decided to go for the middle way. Name of the child: Oliver Jonathan Duquesne.

She smiled to herself about the choice of the name. Truth be told, she hadn't thought what to choose as a middle name but wanted to trust her spontaneous reaction. That gave her Jonathan. Ryan's middle name. Why not? He had been a great help throughout all this. _And he might still be the father,_ the same tiny voice in her head reminded. Yes, what about the gap that stood at father? James Anthony Carlisle? Or Ryan Jonathan Wolfe? This was proving to be too difficult.

"I'm going to the bathroom for a minute or two, okay? You two can obviously handle it," she smilingly said and disappeared.

Ryan noticed she had left the form on the bed and couldn't help but taking a peak at it. Oliver Jonathan Duquesne. _Duquesne_? What happened to Carlisle? And why his middle name? And why no father's name? Too many questions and no one to give some answers.

"Hi sweetie I'm here to see you and your little boy," Alexx entered the room with a shiny smile in her face.

What she saw was not Calleigh holding her little one but Ryan doing it with a very obvious grin on his face.

"Alexx, hi. Calleigh's in the bathroom but I believe you came to see him."

Alexx stepped closer. "Aren't you just the cutest?" She couldn't help but noticing as Ryan's face lit up, hearing that and he gave her a just-like-his-father-smile without even knowing he did.

"Alexx! I didn't hear you come in!"

She turned around to look at Calleigh who looked so much more peaceful and relaxed than before. _The_ glow was definitely there.

"Sweetie, you look great. And he is so adorable. Have you thought out a name yet?"

She nodded as she took Oliver, who had woken up, from Ryan into her arms. "Yes. He is Oliver Jonathan." She deliberately avoided Ryan's gaze at the mention of the middle name.

"Very nice, Cal. Beautiful and not extravagant names. I like them both. Oh, by the way, everyone send congratulations. Eric and Horatio were called to a scene so they couldn't make it. They were really sorry but promised to visit you as soon as possible." She paused for a second and looked around. "Where is James?"

"He's caught up in work and couldn't make it," Calleigh replied, trying to seem nonchalant.

Alexx's jaw dropped. "What could be so important to miss the birth of his son?"

Calleigh just shrugged as she gently dropped Oliver into his crib. Standing next to it, she soothed his head. Tears suddenly filled her eyes and Alexx noticed it instantly.

"Ryan, could you go and fetch me some water? Please?"

He didn't understand but seeing the look in Alexx's eyes, he simply obeyed and left the room. Alexx went to Calleigh.

"What's wrong, honey?"

She sighed in response and wrapped her arms around herself. "Oh, Alexx, tell me that he didn't come because he really-really couldn't. Tell me it's not because he doesn't care."

Silent tears fell and Alexx encircled her arms around Calleigh who gladly accepted that.

"I can't tell you that. You have to know that yourself."

Silently, she listened to her and wondered if she ever could know. Or understand.

**A/N: This chapter didn't really serve much of a purpose. Just wanted to take the pace down so it wouldn't end too quickly. Obviously, I took liberty with their middle names but Ryan's is borrowed from Jonathan Togo. If you have any ideas how this should continue, let me know. I might just use them and will not forget to thank you :) In the mean time, review this one. It makes me feel better.**


	7. Chapter 7

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Oliver was sleeping tight as Calleigh sat down on the couch and tried to watch some news. It had been three months since he had been born and Calleigh couldn't believe how quickly time had passed. She had instantly lived into the role of being a mother and felt happier than ever.

Although it still bothered her that she had not had a DNA test done and the blank 'father' was empty on Oliver's birth certificate and his last name was Duquesne, she had the feeling that it will sort out somehow.

She had reconciled with James who was giving the best he could to be a good father. If you can call glancing at the baby once a day being a father.

Just then he stepped in. _Speak of the devil._

"Hi, how was your day?" Calleigh greeted him in her usual cheery way.

"Fine." The only response he was able to give. He grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat down next to her. He hardly ever asked about her day.

"What the hell…" James jumped up as he had sat on something not nice. It turned out to be some remains of Oliver's daily feast.

Calleigh couldn't help but laugh as she saw James' horrified face. But her laughter didn't help to ease things.

"What is there to laugh? I just sat in baby puke!"

Her laughter didn't seize as she stood up. "I'll get something to clean it up, don't worry!"

"I can't believe it! You're home all day and when I come home and want to have dinner and watch the TV with some good beer, I have to sit into this… this thing! that you have not cleaned up. What do you do all day? Just sit on your fat ass?"

That he shouldn't have said. Calleigh's eyes lit up and her voice acquired a very threatening tone.

"For your information, I am at home with an infant who is not able to do things on his own. He is a normal baby and normal babies spit, throw up and normal fathers don't blame their mothers for it. I can not do things at the same time and fix you a splendid meal while trying to take care of Oliver. I am not perfect!"

Although she didn't yell as to not wake up Oliver, her tone was one that said 'don't-go-there'. But James wasn't able to read it.

"I don't understand how you can't pull it through but Katie could!"

The mention of his ex-wife didn't help at all. "Well, maybe you should've stayed with Katie then if she was so perfect!"

"You just can't seem to be able to appreciate what I have given you. You have a gorgeous apartment, all the money you want and still you are not happy!"

"Happiness isn't about making money; it is about being with your family. It seems you know nothing of Oliver's life; you were not there when he was born, when I came home with him; whenever he has had a significant time in his life, you're simply not there."

"I didn't want this child and still don't!" It took a fracture of a second for him to realize what he had said and another one to recognize the instinct of pain on his cheek where Calleigh had slapped him.

"That's it. I'm leaving _now_." As if to conclude her words, Oliver had woken up and screamed for his mom. She put him into his car safety seat, took his diaper bag, her own phone and keys and marched out, right in front of a stupefied James who couldn't believe what was happening.

She was already out of the door when he reached her.

"Are you leaving me?"

Calleigh responded only with an icy glare and got into the car with Oliver. Starting the engine, she took off and left James behind.

Once in the car, she took a deep breath. She certainly hadn't meant this to end with a fight but her tolerance had reached its end. Despite her angry self, she felt the tears rolling down as her mind replayed James' last words. _I didn't want this child and still don't!_ So she had been right. He wasn't cut to be a father.

Calleigh took a deep breath as she realized she had not yet decided where she ought to go. Of course the safest was to go and stay with Alexx. She would welcome her with open arms. Calleigh's reason was all in favor but her heart…

She shook her head and turned right, following the road to the only place where she wouldn't be judged, blamed or questioned but comforted.

* * *

"Calleigh? And Oliver? What are you two doing here?" Ryan was the personification of surprise. He certainly hadn't been expecting them.

"We just… um… if this is not okay, we can go somewhere else and…" Calleigh didn't manage to find words but her tears-stained face didn't need any explanation.

"No, no, it's okay, come in."

Once inside, he turned into a good host. "Would you like something to drink? Coffee or something?"

She felt deep gratitude as he didn't question her about her appearance. "Just water, thanks. I'll go and arrange myself in the bathroom, okay?"

"Sure."

Calleigh locked the bathroom door and gazed at herself from the mirror. Her face was stained with tears and her eyes were puffed; it was impossible to miss she had been crying. Doing the best she could, she washed her face and arranged her hair so she looked at least a tidbit better.

When she re-entered the living room, everything inside her went warm at the sight in front of her. Oliver was safe asleep in Ryan's arms who gazed at him with such intense love.

"How did you manage to convince him to sleep?" Calleigh asked quietly, not wanting to wake Oliver up.

Ryan smiled. "I just talked to him a bit and one moment he had just fallen asleep. I'll put him away and then we can talk."

With the inner knowledge of a father, he gently placed Oliver back and offered Calleigh some water. They sat down in the kitchen and although not a word was spoken, the silence wasn't awkward but very welcome. After she regained her thoughts, she knew she had to explain things.

"I left him."

"Why?"

"Because he said some very bad things and I felt like suffocating. He has no right to just say these things when he's even not…" her voice trailed off, not finishing the sentence with _even not Oliver's father._

Luckily, Ryan didn't ask. And Calleigh who felt the sudden urge of telling him everything, just talked and talked. About the way things were and he just listened without interrupting until she reached the culmination of that night.

"And when I told him that he's never there, he said… he said…" she couldn't bring herself to say it out aloud and felt the tears rolling down again.

Before she managed to wipe them away, she felt Ryan's finger delicately stopping the tears and she finished, "He said that he had never wanted Oliver and still doesn't." Her voice was a mere whisper but he could hear her.

Ryan felt his heart clench at the thought that someone could say such things about this gorgeous baby and hurt Calleigh so deeply. He took her hand and simply held it, soothing the back of her hand with his thumb. It seemed to calm her.

"I think I should go and try to have some sleep now."

"Okay. My bedroom is down the hall; I fixed it for you and took Oliver there as well."

She nodded and he guided her there. Without saying a word, she rushed to Oliver and gently soothed his cheek, looking into the face of a sleeping angel. Her angel.

Ryan admired the delicate moment for a second and then turned to leave. "Sweet dreams, Cal."

He was about to leave but then suddenly heard her voice. "Stay."

Without believing his ears, he turned around and looked straight into her eyes. "Stay here. I don't want to be alone tonight. Just stay."

And he didn't argue as they both slid under the covers, Ryan only in his boxers and Calleigh in a thin camisole she had kept. Although he had thought to keep some distance because being so near to her made his head go dizzy, she snuggled up close to him and he took in her delicate scent.

As far as he was concerned, this could have lasted on until the last days of his life.

* * *

**A/N: This story is living its own life! I had a whole different thing planned but things tend to work their own way. I am near to begging you to review as I might otherwise lose the motivation to continue writing. So please do review :)**


	8. Chapter 8

As Calleigh woke up the next morning, she felt as if she had slept for days not hours. It had been the best sleep in a few months. Opening her eyes, she realized that it was not her bed and definitely not her bedroom. Then it all came back to her. James, fight, Oliver and… and Ryan. She smiled as she remembered the way he held her and pulled close the night before.

Getting up, she could not see Oliver anywhere. But she did hear baby giggles from outside so she decided to go and have a look.

Ryan was in the living room, holding Oliver in his arms and making funny faces. Calleigh couldn't hold back her laughter at the faces he was making so they took notice of her.

"Hey, look who's there, isn't it mommy?" Ryan said in a very soft manner and Oliver giggled, seeing her.

Calleigh stepped closer and took him in her arms. This was the idyllic family, she thought to herself. The thing she should have with James. Sighing, she cradled her baby, not wanting the ruin her mood with thoughts of last night.

"Cal, is everything alright?" Ryan apparently had taken notice of her mood swing.

She smiled at his concern. "Just thinking… it's nothing important. Hey, shouldn't you be at work?"

Now it was his time to smile. "I told H you weren't feeling well and that I'd stay with you. He didn't ask anything."

"Knowing him, I think he knows. Or at least guesses."

There was silence between them until he continued. "Do you want to talk about… _it_?"

She knew he just wanted to take care of her but she didn't really feel like talking. "No, no… I'm okay."

He saw right through her but decided not to pry; she wouldn't have liked that.

"Since I have the day off, we could do something."

"Like what?"

"Go to the beach, take a walk, go for a picnic. You know, the usual things."

Calleigh was about to answer as her cell rang. She took the phone and flinched a bit, noticing it was James. Ryan saw her unease.

"You don't have to pick it up."

"He has called me ten times. I should at least talk to him. I'll go to the kitchen." She stood up, leaving Oliver with him and walked away, trying to seem confident. But Ryan was no fool; he could see the hidden distress and worry in her eyes, in her walk.

Calleigh stared at the display for some time before answering the call. "Hello?"

"Cal, thank God you're alright! I was so worried wh-" he started but she cut him off.

"Why are you calling me?"

He was baffled for a moment but then replied, "I'm worried about you. Tell me where you are so I can take you home."

"No."

"No? Cal, it's not good for you to be alone right now."

"Not good for me?" Her voice rose but she didn't realize that Ryan could hear every word she was saying. "Who are you to tell me what is good and what isn't good for me? I think you lost that right last night."

He sighed. "I just was a little angry, that's all. Look, I didn't mean to lash out at you."

"Well, you did. What people say when they're angry is what they really mean."

"It was not what I really meant. Please, can we forget about this?"

"Forget this? I am not going to forget about you calling me names and most of all, how can you honestly think I can forget you saying that you don't want Oliver?"

There was silence at the other end. James had run out of words although he knew that what she was saying was right.

"Could we at least talk about this?"

"There is nothing for us to talk about any more. We're over!" She ended the call and stared at the phone. This was really it. She had ended it and there was not a single emotion in her that made her think twice about it.

Calleigh walked back to the living room and knew instantly that Ryan had heard everything she had said. He would have the decency not to mention it, of course, but she felt like she needed to explain.

"It's over."

"Does he understand?"

"If not yet then he will in the course of time. I am not going back to him."

He didn't say anything but secretly he was glad.

"How about we now try the usual things?" He could tell by her voice that she tried her best to be excited about this.

"Sure." If she would never be his, he would at least try to make her happy.

_1 year later _

"Do you see that?" Calleigh asked Ryan excitedly as they both watched Oliver making his first steps.

"I do see this. Come, Oliver, walk to mommy!"

The baby in question was smiling as he carefully toddled across the room right into the open arms of Calleigh.

"Oh, aren't you a good baby!" She smiled, hugging him tight and Ryan couldn't help but smile at the sight in front of him.

It had been a year since Calleigh had left James. He had tried to change things a few times but she had made it clear to him that she wanted nothing to do with him. Finally he let her go and she moved on.

Now she was living alone, in her own two-bedroom apartment. Despite his more than friendly feelings towards Calleigh, Ryan had known it better not to push her and they had become good friends. And he was content with that, especially being a fatherly figure to Oliver as James had moved to Chicago.

Calleigh who seemed to be happier than ever, still had her demons to fight with. She had finally decided for a DNA-test but she couldn't have asked Ryan in person if he would volunteer. He didn't even know there was anything wrong with the paternity of Oliver.

So she had secretly taken a hair from him and with a sample of blood from Oliver, sent them to testing at a foreign lab. She couldn't and wouldn't have dared to use the crime lab because it was not meant for personal testing; H had done it once but she didn't want to be public about it.

The answer was due to arrive any day now and she could feel her anxiety grow. If Ryan was the father, she had to tell him. If James was the father… well, she hadn't asked for child support so far and wasn't going to. She just had to know.

"Thanks so much for spending the day with us. I know you're busy at the lab and…" she started but Ryan quieted her quickly.

"Cal, I am not doing this against my will. I love Oliver and I love spending time with him and you know that. Same goes for you."

He didn't mean to let that one slip out. He had just confessed to loving her but hoped she wouldn't take notice.

_Did he just say what I think he did?_ she asked herself, contemplating on his words. But she cast those thoughts away; they had promised to be friends. And no matter how excruciating it was she decided to stick by her promise.

At home Calleigh found the envelope she had long been waiting for. She stared at it for a moment. That envelope determined all her future actions.

She didn't open it at once but fed Oliver, put him to bed and finally, alone in the silence of her apartment, dared to take it in her hands.

With a deep breath she tore open the envelope and, after closing her eyes for a minute, looked at the results.

_Sample 37516 is a 99.95 match to sample 34289…_ she couldn't read further. But she read the first line over and over again until it reached her understanding. _Ryan is the father._ This simple white sheet of paper had just changed her life for good.

* * *

**A/N: I made you all very happy now, didn't I? Still left a cliffhanger. How is she going to tell him? If you push that button down there, I will promise to update soon. Before the end of this week is a possibility..**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! Here is my fastest update in a very long time.**

* * *

The next day Calleigh called the one person who was her trustee.

"Alexx."

"Alexx, hi, it's Calleigh. Do you have a moment?"

"Sure thing, honey. What's wrong?"

Calleigh contemplated for a moment if she should tell her on the phone but decided against it. "I need to talk to someone. Can you meet me?"

"Sure. But I can't come right now. Or is it urgent?"

"No, no. Meet me tonight at my place. Around seven, if that's okay?"

"Of course." She paused for a moment as if she was suspecting something. "Calleigh, it's not something bad, is it?"

She sighed. "I don't know yet."

"Alright. Meet you tonight then. Bye."

"Bye."

She put the phone down and thought what she should tell her. Alexx knew that she had had her doubts about the paternity and also knew who the father could have been. Now Calleigh had to tell her that it really was Ryan. And James was out of the picture for good.

She couldn't help but wonder what Ryan would say. Would he be glad? Sure, he loved spending time with Oliver but that didn't mean he would be too thrilled to know that she has been hiding this from her all this time. Two years and he didn't even know he might have been the father.

Calleigh thought how it would be said. _Ryan, guess what, you're Oliver's father?_ No, that wouldn't do. She couldn't just be blunt and tell him that.

"A penny for your thoughts."

Calleigh was shook out of her contemplations as she heard Ryan behind her. She smiled at his very convenient question.

"I was just thinking. It's nothing important."

"If you say so. Want to go to the park with Oliver? He could use some fresh air."

She smiled. "Should you be spending all your days off with us? I figure it most get boring after a while."

"Never. I very much enjoy them."

"Then let's go."

* * *

There were few people in the park, despite the perfectly warm weather so they found themselves a nice secluded place to sit.

Oliver sat happily and played with his toys, talking to himself in his baby language. Calleigh looked at him and wondered _He has no idea how much he has changed my life._ Looking at Ryan, her mind was crossed with another thought. _And he does not know how much his life will be changed._

She was brought out of her thoughts by the hand that waved in front of her face. "Hello, Earth to Calleigh?"

She blinked her eyes and noticed how amused Ryan was by her demeanor. "You sure have a lot on your mind today. Something wrong?"

"No, everything's fine. Just thought how lucky I am to have him. I mean, two years ago if anyone had told me I would be sitting here today and I would have a son who is 15 months old, I would have laughed at it."

"Weren't you thinking about having children with James?"

A shadow of pain crossed Calleigh's face.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Cal, I didn't mean to…"

She smiled. "No, no, it's nothing. You just… I guess I never realized that I didn't want children with James."

She was silent for a moment but Ryan didn't interfere.

"He was good and comfy and nice to be with but I could never see myself being together with him until the rest of my life. Children were not a possibility."

"But you wanted children?"

"Oh, yes, every bit of me did. But I just felt as if there wasn't a man in my life who could offer me the kind of stable life that would allow me to bring a child into this world without worrying about anything. I put children on hold, so to say and didn't realize that the clock was ticking."

"And Oliver…?"

"He wasn't planned, I'll say that. But when he was born, I felt as if he came exactly when I needed him. And since I was starting to border the line of having children, I decided to go for it."

She was a little shocked herself for confessing all this; never had she let a man get so close and see the real vulnerability in her usually strong façade. But what he said next, surprised her even more.

He took her hands and in a very quiet, soft manner said, "Cal, you're not old; you have a long way to go. And even when the numbers are bigger than you would like, you will still be young because I don't think you could ever lose your sparkle. There is no such thing as running out of time."

She smiled bitterly. "What will keep me from getting old?"

"Love."

He said it so quietly she thought she didn't hear right. But when he looked straight into her eyes she knew that she didn't have to look for it. It was already there.

Ryan leaned in closer, so slowly to give her the opportunity to pull away and stop this but she decided not to opt for it, even though every rational part in her screamed not to do this.

His lips came closer and she closed her eyes in anticipation. She could smell him, could feel his breath and it was only a matter of millimeters…

A sudden cry of pain jolted them both awake and she pulled back as quickly as she could, letting go of his hands and rushing over to Oliver who was crying.

"What is it, honey? What happened?"

She searched for the reason and found it when she saw a tiny red mark on his hand.

"Oh, baby, a bee stung you. Come here." She took him in her arms and tried to calm him as he cried to let his pain out.

Ryan was about to say something when his beeper went off. Looking at it, he silently cursed to himself. "Listen, Cal, I have to go; the lab is having some emergency and I'm needed. Are you okay by yourself?"

"Sure. Go on, I'll manage."

Even though they both tried to act friendly and pretend that nothing had happened, they couldn't hide it. The fact that anything didn't happen was what bothered them both the most.

"Talk to you later?"

But she was too preoccupied with Oliver to answer him so she just nodded. He left and while walking away tried to convince himself that everything was how it used to be between them. Only now he couldn't hide the fact that deep down inside, he did love Calleigh Duquesne.

* * *

By the time Alexx arrived, Calleigh was going out of her mind. Not only did she have to deal with the fact that Ryan was Oliver's father but they had almost kissed and that added to her nervousness.

The doorbell finally rang and Calleigh greeted Alexx with open arms.

"Hi, sugar, how are you doing?"

"I'm okay. Do you want something do drink?"

"Whatever you have is fine."

Calleigh poured them both some wine as she wasn't breastfeeding anymore and they sat down in the living room.

"How's Oliver?"

"He's growing so fast. Today was a bit sad because a bee stung him. But we went to our doctor and he prescribed some medicine so he's fine now. He's sleeping."

She nodded and they sat together; Alexx talked about what had happened in the crime lab, although Cal knew all about that from Ryan. Finally Alexx stopped and looked at her.

"Cal, I know that you did not invite me here so I could tell you about the lab. What is wrong?"

She took a deep breath. This was the moment. "I… I had the paternity test taken."

Alexx was surprised but didn't say anything. Calleigh needed time to say what she had to say.

"Ryan is the father."

Alexx gasped involuntarily. She had known it was a possibility but she couldn't imagine what effect it would have.

"Have you told him yet?"

"No."

"Are you going to?"

"I promised myself I would if he was the father. But now… I don't know. It scares me, Alexx. How can I put this on him? Maybe he doesn't want this, maybe I will just scare him?"

"Honey, he loves Oliver; I have seen them together. He's crazy about him."

"It's one thing to like a child but a wholly different matter to be a father. I have kept this from him for two years. How can I just say it out of the blue?"

"Calleigh, don't think, just act on impulse. Do you love him?"

"Yes." Calleigh was surprised by her answer herself. "We… we almost kissed today, in the park. And I really wanted it to happen but we were interrupted. I felt so content when I thought we were actually going to kiss and so unhappy when it didn't happen."

Alexx smiled. "Don't tell me this. Tell him."

"How? 'Ryan, I'm in love with you and, by the way, you're Oliver's father'?"

Neither had heard the door open and close but they did hear the gasp behind them. Turning around, Calleigh looked straight at Ryan who had meant to surprise her. By the look on his face, she had already surprised him.

* * *

**A/N: Well... he does know now. But what will happen? Will there be a happily-ever-after in the next chapter? If you review this one then I just might write the next one for tomorrow.**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thanks to all ten people who reviewed! That is the most I have ever received for a chapter so it made my heart really warm. And that is why I am continuining this so soon.**

* * *

The silence in the room was deafening. Ryan and Calleigh just looked at each other, neither able of saying anything. Alexx decided it was best for her to leave.

"I'll have to go now, sweetie. See you soon!" And with that she was out, leaving the two in a rather uncomfortable situation.

Calleigh wanted to say something, laugh, make a joke; anything that would relieve the tension. But she knew that the only way was to tell him.

"So… umh… I guess you want some answers now."

He didn't reply but his expression told her that he was listening.

"I'm going to tell you everything. Just… just don't interrupt me."

"You heard right. You are Oliver's father. I just found out about it yesterday and I was going to tell you and I didn't mean for you to find it out like this.

"I didn't know before because I just had the paternity test taken. I didn't have the courage to do this before. I was afraid that everything would be turned upside down and that's just what happened."

She paused for a moment to gather her thoughts but didn't dare to look at Ryan. She was too afraid of what she might see there.

"I thought that James was Oliver's father. And I was willing to believe in it and be with him because I didn't want to trouble you with this. What happened between us was a mistake. A drunken one. I thought it wouldn't be fair to put this kind of responsibility on you."

"So you thought it was better to never let me know you thought it might have been my child?"

His voice was sad and disappointed and a little bit angry.

"Ryan, I… I didn't know what to do! You know, his not Carlisle but Duquesne."

"I know."

"What?" Calleigh was dumbfounded. She had never let anyone know what was Oliver's last name. James had willingly let her name him Duquesne; she had told him it was because she wanted the name to continue in her family but he didn't know her real reasons behind it.

"I saw the application in the hospital. You left it in plain sight. Oh god, I should've guessed by then!"

He buried his head in his hands but Calleigh heard his muffled voice. "It was all there, right in front of me: the eyes, his last name, his _middle_ name. I thought he was Jonathan for other reasons not because it was _my_ middle name as well. Oh, Calleigh, why didn't you just tell me?"

"I couldn't. A child needs to have both, a mother and a father. My father was an alcoholic, yes, but he was still there. James might not have been the best choice but at least he was there."

"And I wasn't?" Ryan's voice rose unintentionally.

"No! That's not what I meant. It's just that … I didn't want to force you into something that happened because of a mistake."

They both remained quiet for some time.

"Why do you think it was a mistake?"

Calleigh didn't understand the question at first. "Come again?"

"Let me put it this way: why do you think I didn't like, didn't want what happened?"

Now she was in total shock. _Is he saying…?_

"I didn't think you would consider it a mistake now. You said something else before you mentioned that I'm Oliver's father."

Oh yes. The infamous _I'm in love with you_.

"I…" she didn't know what to say. It had come so easily before but when it was time to say it to him, she couldn't.

"Well, I heard it anyhow. And I'm not going to deny that I have felt like that for you for a long time. And to answer my previous question – the night when we were together was like a dream come true. To have something so desired…"

"But… but we agreed it was a mistake. That we were to be friends."

"_We_ didn't agree on anything. _You _did and since I was afraid of losing you, I didn't protest."

Calleigh didn't know what to say. Here he was, confessing his love for her and she knew she felt the same time but she couldn't say it out.

"You could at least tell me if you meant it."

She stayed silent even though everything inside her screamed her to accept that and say it back and tell him everything hidden deep inside her.

Ryan sighed. "Okay, I'll just pretend you didn't say it and I didn't hear it. I'll go now. I can promise you that I will take responsibility for Oliver. I want to be a part of his life. If you don't want to share a life with me then that's okay but don't deny me the right to see him."

And with that he stood up and left. Calleigh watched him go as if she was in some sort of a daze and didn't snap out of it until she heard the door close.

Just then she realized she had let the one man who had loved her without wanting anything back, walk away. And she also realized that she was willing to love him back the same way.

* * *

Ryan sat in the bar and just stared in front of himself. Eric, who was there with him, thought that he had never seen a man this depressed. He was hurting and Eric could see it.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"About what?"

"Whatever it is eating you. I can see that something is bothering you. Everyone can."

Ryan sighed. Of course he would feel better after telling this to someone but he felt a little weird with Eric. Calleigh was like a sister to him and Ryan wasn't sure he would like to hear that he had messed up his sister.

"It's about Calleigh, isn't it?"

Ryan didn't answer but Eric knew it anyhow.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk?"

"It's a really long and complicated story."

"I'm not going anywhere."

So Ryan told him. For the first time in his life he didn't hesitate to talk about how he felt and what he really thought.

Eric was more than surprised to hear all this. He had no idea their feelings ran so deep although he had suspected they were beyond colleagues.

"And that's basically it," he finished his story.

"So… to put it short – you and Calleigh slept together when she was still with James, she got pregnant, didn't know who the father was, stayed with James, now he is gone, she took the paternity test and you're the father."

"And I'm head over heels in love with her."

Eric was about to reply when he saw someone come in. Someone who was a lot more efficient than anything he could have said to Ryan.

Calleigh noticed Ryan and Eric sitting together. She knew that Eric had seen her and when she saw him leave, she knew that Ryan had told Eric about everything. She took a deep breath and approached the table.

"Is this seat taken?"

Ryan looked up, surprised to see Calleigh sitting down next to him, looking at unease but also anxious. He wanted to say something but she put a finger on his lips.

"No, I will do the talking now."

He obliged and didn't say anything but waited for Calleigh to speak.

"When you told all those things to me before, I just fell into a daze. It was so unreal. And it came as a shock so I didn't quite know how to respond.

"I was afraid to be loved. You offered me this all-consuming, ever-lasting thing, the kind of life that only exists in fairy-tales and I wasn't sure I could take it all. I didn't think I deserve this."

She reached out and caressed his cheek with her hand. "It's not that I don't want this all. I just don't know how."

He was astounded at her confession. But what followed next surprised him even more.

Calleigh leaned towards him and captured his lips in a very delicate and careful kiss. He didn't even have the time to respond before she pulled out.

"Show me what love really is, Ryan."

This time he didn't hesitate and started the kiss himself. The innocent and delicate kiss was overtaken by all the passion they felt and they kissed like tomorrow would never come.

When they finally pulled apart, they were both smiling. And in unison they said the three words that mattered right there and right then.

"I love you."

* * *

**A/N: Awww! I am going with the happily-ever-after ending because I know everyone want that. I am thinking about doing one chapter more, something about them in a few years. Or should I leave it at this?**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: My reviewers are the greatest! And since you continued to make me happy, I have decided to award you with one more, final epilogue-chapter.

* * *

**_Five years later_

"No! You don't fold these like that. Let me show you!"

Calleigh looked down at her and sighed. Despite his youth, Oliver was already a true wiseass and had apparently inherited his father's OCD. Calleigh was certain there wasn't another six-year-old who was so into folding clothes.

"Okay, if you want to, I'll let you do it. I'll be in the kitchen," she left, defeated and Oliver folded his things with obvious contentment.

In the kitchen, she stood by the window and looked out, pondering on how much and how amazingly her life had changed in the past six years.

She had gotten pregnant, had a really complicated time and finally realized what she really wanted. Her life was indeed perfect – she had a son and a partner.

She smiled at her last thought. _Partner._ Ryan was so much more than that, he was everything and he offered her everything, even though she had originally thought she didn't deserve any of it. He had come into her life with every intention of changing it although they both had been completely unaware of it and he had succeeded in doing it.

_Yes_, she thought, _everything is perfect_. What more could she want? She knew that her father would argue with that and vividly she remembered their last conversation.

"_Dad, don't start with that! We are very much in love and very content with each other." _

"_Then why hasn't he made an honest woman out of you?" _

_Calleigh glanced at her father with an annoyed look. She and Ryan had been together for four years and it was true that they weren't married but that didn't bother her. Although she had always thought herself to be the conservative type to want to be married, she had come to the conclusion that eventually, it didn't matter. _

"_Not being married doesn't make me dishonest. It is the 21__st__ century, for God's sake!" _

"_But you're a Duquesne! And Duquesnes don't have 'partners', they have husbands and wives." _

_Calleigh knew that her father had his own point of view but she was not going to surrender. But she also knew better than to continue arguing with her father. They had had these conversations for several times. _

"_Daddy, could we just drop the subject?" _

_Kenwall Duquesne didn't have anything against his daughter's love interest. He considered Ryan Wolfe a good man and a good father but, nevertheless, he wouldn't back out of his ideas. Of course, he also knew that arguing with Calleigh was pointless because neither one of them would back down. _

"_Alright, alright. But I still don't like it."_

Later, Calleigh thought this matter over and over again. The question she needed to answer was whether she really didn't matter if she was married or if she didn't push Ryan because she was afraid he'd run away?

"A penny for your thoughts should be the classical line in our family already," she heard a familiar voice whisper as two arms encircled her and a light kiss was placed on her neck.

Instead of answering, she turned around and faced Ryan who gave her his best amused expression.

"I was just thinking what a great life we have."

"That's nice to know," he said with a smile. "Where's Oliver?"

"Folding his clothes. As he put it, I don't know how to fold them so he wants to do it by himself. The OCD is one thing he inherited from you."

He grinned. "At least something good came out of it."

They shared a soft and sweet kiss that made Calleigh lose all her recent thoughts about marriage. But the kiss soon took heated measures and soon enough they were both short on breath and could feel their arousal stir.

Calleigh was the one to break it off. "Not now, Oliver is the next room."

But her sparkling eyes gave away her real thoughts.

"If he is folding his clothes," Ryan kissed her neck, "and we can slip into the bedroom," another kiss, "and keep it quiet," the next one made Calleigh moan unintentionally, "then we won't get caught."

Her mind was being reasonable but her desire quickly smothered it. "Okay."

They made it quickly and swiftly into the bedroom. They lost as few clothes as possible and were soon in the middle of passionate lovemaking. The chance of getting caught made the excitement grow and release was quick to come.

Calleigh tried to catch her breath while Ryan continued to kiss her neck and she knew that if she let him continue, they wouldn't be able to stop at all.

"Honey," she drew his attention, "as much as I'm enjoying it, we need to stop or we won't be able to stop at all." She placed a quick kiss on his lips and untangled herself from his embrace, trying to regain her composure.

"And would that be so bad?" he asked with a naughty grin on his face.

Calleigh couldn't help but smirk as well. He was even more irresistible with his face still a bit flushed from the lovemaking and his perfectly shaped body in her sight son her thoughts were a bit confused. But she stayed confident.

"Let's go back to being parents now." Seeing the frown on his face, she leaned closer and whispered, "If you're a good boy, we will continue this tonight." She left with a satisfied smile at the look on his face.

"Sweetie, are you done with your clothes?" Calleigh entered Oliver's room and saw him fold his last shirt with obvious content.

"Yes."

She gave a proud look at her son who had really done a better job than she would have. Not that she was messy.

"Wow, you should become a professional folder!"

"Mom…" he rolled his eyes and Calleigh couldn't help but chuckle. _So like his father._

"What are you two doing here?" Ryan had snuck in quietly, so neither one had heard him come.

"Did you do this?" he asked Oliver, hints of pride hidden in his voice.

"Mhmph."

"I couldn't have done it better myself." He hugged Oliver tightly, relishing in the fact that this little boy was his son.

"What's for dinner?" And just like that, out of the blue, Oliver turned into a 'normal' child.

"Salad and chicken. Want to help me set the table?"

He happily agreed and the whole family started preparing the meal.

* * *

"Mom, why aren't you and Dad married?"

Calleigh and Ryan stared at Oliver, then at each other and then right back at Oliver.

"We read this story at school and there were Jane and Tom who got married because they were much in love. And Ms. Bloom said that when two people love each other, they always get married. So… don't you love each other?"

Ryan was amazed by his son's ability to ask these things just out of the blue. He thought how to explain it to him so that he'll understand.

"No, we do love each other. Very-very much. But it's not that people always get married when they are in love; they now live together and have children and they still are happy and love each other. It's the kind of love that doesn't need a paper to prove it."

Ryan couldn't have said it better himself but he was surprised by Calleigh's words. He knew that Kenwall Duquesne wasn't too happy about it and he himself wasn't sure if Calleigh secretly wished for a wedding.

"It's just that some people feel the need to get married to know that they will love each other for the rest of their lives. But your father and I don't need that. Do you understand? People just believe in different things."

Oliver looked around thoughtfully. "So… you do love each other but you don't marry because you don't believe in it?"

"Exactly," she nodded with her son.

"Okay."

The rest of the dinner was casual but Calleigh kept thinking at what she had said. She had not thought it before but it had all come freely, without thinking. Maybe she had come to a decision long a time; it just took Oliver that she could admit it to herself.

"I'm going to go and play now."

Oliver left, leaving Ryan and Calleigh in a somewhat uncomfortable silence.

"Calleigh… did you mean what you said? You really believe that we don't have to get married?"

She smiled at him. Now she knew the answer.

"I know that I love you and I'm quite sure that you love me. My feelings for you will not change."

"I thought you wanted to get married; your Dad does not approve us just living together."

"My father just has to accept with the fact that I am not married. Maybe someday I'll change my mind."

Ryan just kissed her for that. He had always been a keen supporter of living together rather than getting married but for her, he could've done anything.

Calleigh responded to him, opening her mouth and the deepening kiss brought back memories of what had just happened. Ryan seemed to read her mind because he broke off the kiss and looked into her eyes.

"How about we resume what we did before?"

"With pleasure."

He leaned closer but instead of kissing her, whispered in her ear, "If you won't become Wolfe then we just have to give life to someone who will."

Calleigh shivered at his words and felt enormous joy when she understood the meaning. They had talked about having another child for a year. She didn't want to before because she had still believed that this child should be born into a wedlock but with her ideas reconsidered…

"I'd love to."

And she then knew that whether she was called Duquesne or Wolfe, love was one thing she would never lack.

* * *

**A/N: That's it! I should probably explain my idea of a relationship. Since I'm a firm believer in just living together instead of marrying, I decided to carry this idea into my story as well. Usually my stories end with a wedding but this time I stuck true to my beliefs and I ****hope you can accept that. So, no flames about that, please!**


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